The death of the informative John Farnswell Wikipedia page

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To: "Frank" - Wikipedia administrator
Subject: Deletion of the John Farnswell Wikipedia page

Wikipedia - You just pissed off the wrong Fruit Gusher enthusiastI am stunned and hurt by your deletion of my John Farnswell Wikipedia page. I am an up-and-coming Cleveland-based humor writer. My web site 13emails.com has made dozens of people giggle and possibly even laugh, yet you feel I am not "important or significant" enough to be included in your encyclopedia?

Look, I admit that I posed as a well meaning fan, who was so overjoyed by my kick ass emails that he created a John Farnswell Wikipedia page. And while it was a lame bit of self promotion, I argue that the informative page indeed details a man who is "important and significant."

First, I am the only teenager at the 1992 Strawberry Festival in Kirtland, Ohio to win both a foam #1 hand AND a provocative Allysa Milano poster (I am really good at the pop a balloon with a dart game).

Second, my site is gaining in popularity daily. It used to be just my Aunt Judy who would go on and begrudgingly read my posted emails, but now my Cousin Jake and this one drunk wretch from the Eastlake Tavern go on almost every other day.

Third, and most importantly, my inclusion in Wikipedia will help me stick it to my parents, who always told me that writing crazy emails was "no way to get famous." I was just hoping to point to my Wikipedia page and with tears in my eyes, whisper to them "You thought this wasn't possible."

I'm sure you see my point. I need not say more. Let's just go ahead and let bygones be bygones. Then you can simply re-post my John Farnswell page, and I'll stop blaming you for my new bouts of depression, anxiety and Elephantiasis.

Important and significant,
John Farnswell

P.S. Let me get this straight: You don't have a John Farnswell Wikipedia page, but you do have an Emo Philips page? Why don’t you just run me over with a Zamboni and put me out of my misery.