Nov
2
Please help my precious Winnie
Submitted by John Farnswell on November 2, 2009 - 2:57pm
To: Compaq customer service
Subject: Emergency, f@#%ing emergency!!!!
The sadness of losing Winnie is only 1/2 as bad as the pain of not poopingI love my Compaq laptop. It’s been my single greatest purchase since I bought the movie “Idiocracy” on DVD in 2007. I just can’t live without it.
So naturally, when my beloved laptop, failed to boot up today, I reacted predictably: ripping off all my clothes in a fit of rage and then standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring blankly at myself.
It seems Winnie (my laptop’s pet name) is in a state of semi-permanent hibernation, and I can’t wake her. Read more
