Hey idiot, RTA is coming through!

PrintE-mail

To: Greater Cleveland Regional Transit Authority (RTA)
Subject: Improvement to your proposed audible warning system

Soon this RTA bus will tell you to get the hell away from the crosswalk!I read today in the Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper that RTA soon will be installing an audible system on buses to warn pedestrians at crosswalks of oncoming buses.

To do this, the phrase "Caution, bus turning, pedestrians look both ways, look both ways," will emanate from stereo speakers inside and outside the bus as it approaches a crosswalk.

With all due respect, I believe this is quite a foolish proposal. I have zoomed through crosswalks in Cleveland many times, and gracious/polite warnings to pedestrians are completely ineffective (I am referencing, in particular, violently blaring car horns and looking disgustedly in pedestrians' direction).

I propose that you change the polite phrase that you currently plan to use to something more like the following: "Hey idiots, there is a 12-ton vehicle coming towards you that will smash you into a chunky, red blob if you don't step the hell away from the crosswalk!"

I'm so convinced this is the better option that i am willing to do the voice recording for free. I think it will actually add to the effectiveness of the audible system, since when I yell, my voice bears a strong resemblance to Paulie's from the Rocky movies.

Please get back to me ASAP. I fear your current plan just won't work, and you'll have to spend taxpayer money to wash human brain tissue the front bumper of one of your buses.

Ready to warn pedestrians,
John Farnswell