Hydrochloric acid and Finesse shampoo - a bad combination

PrintE-mail

To: Finesse shampoo
Subject: Problem with your shampoo

At least I don't have to worry about dandruff any moreI know. I know. You should always follow the directions on a bottle of shampoo.

But, I’ve got dandruff like you wouldn’t believe. We’re talking frosted flake-sized dandruff here. So, I thought to get rid of dandruff once and for all, it might help to give your Finesse shampoo a little extra kick: 23 milligrams of hydrochloric acid.

In hindsight, this was a little foolish. I should have known when I saw the melting bottle and nauseous fumes. As I was washing my hair with the acid-spiked shampoo, it actually felt kind of good – at first.

However, within about 30 seconds there were large, pussing boils on my scalp, giant clumps of hair and skin plugging my shower drain and a burning sensation that felt like I had plunged head first into a vat of smoldering fryer grease.

After screaming at the top of my lungs for about ten minutes, I was able to compose myself long enough to put some conditioner in my remaining hair. Needless to say, it didn’t help. Currently, my swollen, burned head is covered in gauze.

Do you have any advice for me? Is there a better way to prevent dandruff?

Burned beyond recognition,
John Farnswell

P.S. You’ll be happy to know that on a detailed inspection of my scalp, I found NO dandruff – lots of second degree burns and puss – but no dandruff.